Why do we build walls and fences in our yards? Simply to protect our homes, gardens and flowers from unwanted trespassers like the coyotes and deer that often make tracks through my backyard. We also build walls and fences to keep what’s in our yard safe. They provide a safe environment for our children and pets to play. We build walls and fences because we want to keep what’s precious and beautiful to us from being harmed, broken and trampled. Makes sense!
So in essence, the walls and fences we build serve as protection in many ways, or do they? What about the wall you’ve built around your heart? Is it truly protecting you? Are you better off today, alone and filled with resentment?
“I’m not going to be naïve ever again. I know this relationship is going to turn out like all the others so why bother investing emotions and time into this one. There’s no way I’ll ever give my all to another man. I’m tired of being someone else’s doormat. I’m going to live for me!”
Ladies, does this sound familiar? We have all felt this way in our lives probably more often than we would like to admit.
For guys, the pain sounds more like, “I poured my heart out in this relationship and she told me that I need to ‘Man Up’ and be a real man. I’ll never show another woman my true feelings. She will never see my emotions no matter how much I’m hurting. I will never let another woman take advantage of me. I’m going to live for me!”
Do we really turn this pain into motivation to live for ourselves or does the pain become the cross we bear and use to attack others that try to develop a meaningful relationship with us?
We have all invested ourselves in the wrong person. Interestingly, we keep making the same mistakes, but don’t realize it until we’re too deep. So we end up getting hurt over and over again. Eventually we build walls and fences to protect ourselves.
I would offer that the wall around your heart keeps people from getting in and keeps you from getting out so that you can enjoy the world around you. I encourage you to find a way to forgive yourself and forgive those that hurt you. Whether it was your father or mother or spouse that left your family or the boyfriend or girlfriend that walked away with your heart and your pride, you have to keep it moving to live a life of happiness and fulfillment. You have to find unconditional forgiveness!
If you are ready to live a life of Unconditional Forgiveness, I would love to hear from you! To schedule your Complimentary consultation with Newbern Consulting Group or invite me to speak to your organization, please call today at 224.406.5443.