Your Past Should Guide You, Not Define You

Your Past Should Guide You, Not Define You

Do you remember the scar you got from the first really nasty fall you had on your bicycle? The pain and aches lasted for days. Then after the aches went away, there was that ugly scab that appeared covering up the wound. Your mom told you that the wound was healing but you could still feel pain when you touched the scab.

Then one day, you’re outside playing and you had forgotten about the scab because it no longer hurt. That’s when the scab got ripped off and all the pain came right back to you.

After this life altering experience, you decided to protect the wound no matter the cost. You wore Band-Aids, long pants and vowed to never to ride a bike again just as an extra precaution. Then finally the wound healed, the scab came off and you were left with a scar to remind you of the fall.

There’s really no difference in healing from a fall on your bike and a fall in relationship. When a relationship is over, it hurts. Your heart aches for days, weeks, months and in some cases years. Then there’s that ugly scab when you try to patch things up by going back only to be hurt again. Or your scab is the fact that you refuse to tell your friends and family the truth about the relationship because of what they will say or think.

Then one day, you’re finally outside playing again, trying to meet new people and even date. You’ve forgotten about the scab because you’re enjoying the attention and experiences. Then, something happens. You see a text, they say one thing and do something different, or you get a call from a friend telling you they have someone else. The scab just got ripped off again. The pain comes rushing right back. You blame yourself saying that you should have known better and saw it coming.

Now you are protecting the wound no matter the cost. You have bandaged your heart and built a brick wall around it so that nobody can hurt you again. You have even vowed to never give anyone else 100% of you, because they will only hurt you again. Years go by and you find yourself lonely and still bitter. The wound has healed, but the pain left a scar in your life that reminds you of the fall you took in relationship.

Broken relationships lead to life defining PAIN. The impact it has on your life can be negative or positive depending on how you deal with the PAIN. I challenge you to not let your PAIN define you!

PAIN can either make you Powerless After Investing in Negativity or PAIN can give you Purpose and Affirmation to Invest in your Next. The choice is yours!

To find out how to redefine the PAIN in your life, visit and join the Journey 2 Forgiveness.

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